Tuesday, April 23, 2013

And then there was the last monster. It stood before me, its limbs long, its face white and empty. I wondered how anyone could find this thing scary. I didn't feel fear standing before it. I felt nothing.

The street was empty. Over us was a canopy of trees, their leaves all shades of black. I had walked here directly from my encounter with the monster after death. I felt strong. I felt like I could walk up to this monster and shoot him in the head and that would be the end. I could kill him without a thought.

The last monster stood before me and did nothing at all.

What was it waiting for, an invitation? I wanted it to try and kill me. I wanted to show it how I had changed. I wanted to show it that I had no fear of death, no fear of whatever it was. I was fearless.

But the last monster stood before me and did fuck all.

I raised the gun. "Fuck you," I said and pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened. There was no bullet. None had been made.

I kept the gun raised. There had to be a way to make a bullet. Before, I had made the bullets when confronted with the monster or before, with the help of the man in the gray suit, but now there was nothing. The man in the gray suit had left before I had walked here. I was alone with no bullet and a monster that did nothing.

The last monster tilted his head and looked at me. "Well?" I said. "What the fuck are you waiting for?"

It turned and started to walk away. I wasn't angry - I had no anger left - but I was disappointed. What was this all for if I couldn't kill him? I had to kill the last monster. I had to kill all the monsters. I had to save the world.

I ran after the last monster and pushed him. I'll admit, that was quite stupid.

He turned to look at me again. Why wouldn't he attack? Why? Was it because I didn't feel fear?

"It's because it no longer registers you as human," the man in the gray suit said. He stood far away, but I could hear his voice clearly. "It does not see as you see. It can see many aspects of many things, but at this moment, it sees you and does not register you as human. You are like a tree to it."

"How do I kill him then?" I asked.

"Do you have any emotions left?" he asked.

I did. I had my disappointment. I had my pride. I had my joy.

"Give them up," he said. "Pour them away. The bullet that kills it must be made from nothing. An empty bullet for a faceless monster."

His voice echoed in my head. What was left of me? What hadn't I given up yet? I would give everything away to kill this monster. The air around me felt heavy and I closed my eyes and I let everything go.

I opened my eyes and the world looked different. I felt nothing, no disappointment, no need to hurry, nothing at all.

I raised the gun and there was a bullet. It was like me. It was made of nothing.

I shot the last monster with the last bullet. It did not seemed shocked or surprised. No emotion registered on its lack of face. It stumbled and then reality around it seemed to crack and jump. One moment it was there and the next it wasn't and I knew it was dead.

I had killed it. I had killed the last monster.

I felt nothing. No joy, no sorrow.

No, wait. There was something. A sound, a steady beat. And then-

No comments:

Post a Comment